Let it go

It was a quiet evening at the barn.  There was no bustling of activity in the barn that night.  
I was riding Freckles, a small flea bitten appaloosa in my riding lesson.  
Freckles could be a little nervous.   She was a little head shy.  A sign that someone had been over bearing and possibly abusive  in the way they had treated her.  She needed  a calm and confident person with her.   
I was learning to  use my sensitivity in the situation.   Guiding with calmness.  It's sometimes a not- so -easy thing to do. 
Thoughts can run through the mind, like a  wild train.  Sometimes a thought can seem to jump out and stir emotions.   
I had my own experiences and dark moments in life.  Negative words said in a bad relationship.   
Then a medical professional that decided they couldn't be bothered to listen or help me with my issue. She  tried to act like it was just in my head.  It turned out to be something physical that needed attention.   
I felt violated.   
Yet thankfully I didn't just cave in.  I eventually found the support and compassion from people that I needed then in my life. 
There I was riding Freckles. I was focusing hard.  A negative thought flashed by in my mind.  I stiffened up.  The opposite of what I was trying to do. 
In the quiet arena, riding, 
Carol, my instructor,  said, "Let it go".  
I knew that's what I had to do.  I had told myself it before.   
Yet having someone else say it in this certain situation gave me the space to really take it in and make the adjustment.  
I no longer had my thoughts fighting  each other.  
I relaxed.  Freckles relax.  We were OK. 

I was very grateful.   
We finished the lesson on a good note. I untacked her and put her in her stall.  
I thanked Carol.  
As I left and drove home, I looked toward the night sky with stars here and there.  
I softly said, "Thank you".